The Nature of the Beast

I've resisted Facebook for so long now. I remember feeling anxiety and ineptitude when I was on it in my early college years. I was disappointed that I hadn't gone away for college, and watching all of my classmates post about living in the dorms, college parties, meeting new friends, and leading these seemingly exciting lives made me feel resentful of my own. I deleted my page and was pretty much off social media for the next five years. 

I only recently got back to Instagram, and as I've written here before, I have had such an amazing experience with it-connecting to new people, growing as a photographer and influencer. In this time between jobs, I decided to pursue photography with more drive and purpose. I want to work with more clients, engage in collaboration, and expand my own knowledge and skills. Because of this, I felt I needed to get back on Facebook to reach a wider audience. 

Coming back to it at 28 years old, I know I am much more aware of the fact that we only post the picture perfect images of our lives (for the most part). I know myself well enough to not scroll through my feed for any great length of time. I know that everyone is fighting a battle, and what we put on Instagram or Facebook or any other social media is what makes us feel good about ourselves, and those things should be celebrated. 

So I'm taking the opportunity to use Facebook to enter into another period of growth and challenge. One that I'm hoping will also bring abundance and connection.

xxo

The Universe is Conspiring For You

One of my yoga teachers says, "The Universe is conspiring for you, not against you." So often we think we're being "tested" by God. But I don't think God tests us. I choose to think that things are working in a way that is supposed to challenge us, but also uplift us. These "tests" show us the strength we have within that we might not otherwise have been witness to. 

It feels very vulnerable and scary to put yourself out there into the Universe and trust that things will work out in your favor eventually. I felt nervous and self-conscious posting last week on my Instagram that I'm available for photoshoots. It felt presumptuous to assume my work is good enough to gain the attention of others, and then to have someone pay me for it. 

But, as it so often does, the starts aligned and I found myself encouraged and surprised by the interest that post received. I spent an afternoon last week with Caroline. We met as new coaches for Girls On The Run Sacramento and have spent the last three months taking a rowdy, sassy, and endearing group of 3rd-5th grade girls through the GOTR program. 

Caroline is a writer and was looking for new content to include on both her website and Instagram. Her enthusiasm for the whole process was contagious. She is a natural goof and has very little shame in making a fool out of herself. I envy people with these traits-to not worry so much about what others think of you must be very freeing. 

I'm so grateful for the opportunity to push myself-both emotionally in offering my services, and technically in photographing someone other than myself or the trips that I go on. And even if Caroline is the only client I book, I know that had I not spoken up, had I not taken that leap of trust and faith in the process, I never would have felt this particular pride and excitement.

xxo

Put It All Out There

Being a new photographer, I have a lot of hesitation in putting myself out there to potential (read: paying) clients. I worry about my skill level. I wonder about my professionalism in securing a location and being able to produce content that the client is excited about. I'm unsure of what I should initially charge. Is my equipment "fancy" enough... 

Most of all, I think I'm afraid of putting myself out there and getting no response. But this week on good ol' Instagram I posted about being open for portrait gigs and the Universe gave me a sweet little kiss on the forehead and gave me several responses. 

No doubt the self-questioning will persist. But this little vote of confidence has me grateful and pumped. (With that being said, feel free to reach out through email at kellygboylan@gmail.com, or Instagram to inquire about working together!).

xxo

What Are You Passionate About?

I'm still struggling with answering the inevitable question when you meet someone new, "So what do you do for a living?" Because honestly right now I feel like a broken record talking about how frustrated I am to still be working as a substitute teacher. I don't want to come across as a Debbie Downer. I also don't want to come across as entitled or selfish. I am thankful that I have a job, and somewhat of a steady income. I know millions out there have it worse off than I do. 

I remember talking to someone about an "elevator pitch." It's the pitch someone comes up with to convey what you are most passionate about within the amount of time you'd be riding in an elevator with a stranger. 

So instead of leading with being a substitute teacher, I've decided to lead with what I'm most passionate about, and where I see myself working. In my recent trip to D.C. my cousin pointed out to me how important it is to put what you want there out in the Universe. You never know what could come from a two minute conversation with a stranger. I'm finding out more and more that this whole job hunt and career building comes from networking, knowing someone who knows someone, and then putting yourself out there. 

Moving forward, instead of answering that dreaded question with what I do, I'm going to start answering with what I'm passionate about (which is adolescent development and girls' self-esteem and health and wellness, for anyone reading this right now with connections to girl groups, junior high or high schools, nonprofits, etc...!)

xxo

Arlington National Cemetery

While back in Washington D.C. last week my mom and I made it over to the Arlington National Cemetery. It was a humbling experience, to say the least. I felt such a sense of respect and reverence for everyone buried there, and everyone else who has served my country. Because of this, I didn't take many shots. It felt too intrusive to photograph most of it, like the changing of the guards at the tomb of the unknown soldier. I hope I was able to capture this sense of pride and reverence in the few shots that I did get.

With so much gratitude for the life that I live,

xxo