Monday: Goals & Lists

Usually Mondays got me like this:

But today I'm going to set goals and make lists...because making lists is what I do best (I'm not saying I actually accomplish everything on my lists, but I will admit that sometimes I write things down that I've already finished, just so I can create the facade that I've gotten more done than in reality). 

Goals: 

1. Shower (huge accomplishment as this is the first time I've washed my hair in three days)

2. Take care into garage 47 to get check-battery-light fixed 

3. Transcribe at least half of audio data from pilot study

4. Exercise

5. Eat healthy (to make up for the copious amounts of Ginger Elizabeth cupcakes consumed over the weekend...as seen in my Instagram story)

6. Endlessly scroll through search engines like Indeed, CraigsList, and LinkedIn in hopes of discovering dream job job that will provide actual livable income

xxo

Things I've Learned in the Past 48 Hours

#1: I really enjoy riding my bike along the American River Trail. Saturday I ended up riding from Jesuit High School to Sac State. The night before I had a dream that sent me into an internal, contemplative mood. I just started riding and was surprised to end up on campus. It was homecoming weekend for The Hornets, but I couldn't go into the stadium for the game because I didn't have my bike lock with me. Instead I sat outside on the lawn by The Well and read my new book for a short while and wrote in my journal about said dream from the night before. 

#2: I really don't want to work with preschoolers. WHAT. I know. If you follow me on Instagram you'd be like, "Well then, Kelly, you're fucked." Because on Monday I captioned a photo with the news that I would be stepping into a long term substitute teaching position at a preschool. But after two minutes two days of shadowing the class I was to be taking over, I bravely listened to my intuition and turned to position down.

It was a hard pill to swallow. I called my dad after my first day in the classroom crying and frustrated because I feel like I've built my academic career (B.A. in Family Studies and M.A. in Child Development) and working career (nanny and camp leader) around children. So what am I supposed to be doing if it's not working with children?

I suppose I already know the answer to that question in a general sense: I want to work with adolescents, not preschoolers. And I have these general dreams and wishes and goals to work with adolescent girls in a mentorship capacity. But how the fuck do I get from that grandiose idea to the making-a-living/first-step phase?! God only knows. And hopefully that plan is shared with me soon (godspeed).

#3: I'm crazy enough to want to work with adolescents...

xxo

Best Face Forward

It's Monday! 

And I'm going to work! 

I don't think I've ever been so excited about that combination. I guess being unemployed for over two months will do that to a person. I'm stepping into a long term substitute position as a preschool teacher. In some ways, it feels a little discouraging to be working with preschoolers again, as I'm trying to move away from that age group and towards adolescents. But on the other hand, I'm just really freaking grateful to have a job that will produce actual income! 

Have a great Monday, friends.

xxo

Brit+Co Re:Make Summit 2016

I spent this past weekend in San Francisco at Brit+Co's Re:Make Summit. I found out about it only a week or so before and made the insane decision to splurge and attend. SO WORTH IT. 

Friday was spent listening to the likes of Sophia Amoruso, Melanie Whelan, and two of my FAVES Grace Helbig and Mamrie Hart. I've been following these two YouTubers for years now, and it was so amazing to see them live. They're both comedians, but I love listening to them speak in interviews and panels like this because they are real and honest and so relatable. 

Then there was Brene Brown. WHAT. I KNOW. She spoke for only about 30-40 minutes, but I could have listened to her for the whole 8 hour day. One of my teachers introduced me to her Ted Talk on The Power Of Vulnerability years ago. I've been meaning to read her books, but have not gotten around to it with all of my school work. After this weekend though, I know I need more Brene in my life. So amazon, here I come!

Saturday was a day free to the public with vendors of all difference creative mediums. There were DIY projects, food trucks, live music. I stayed with a girlfriend in lower pac heights, and on Saturday I decided to walk back to her apartment from the Fort Mason Center. I figured the two mile walk with much uphill climbing was my exercise for the day (especially since my morning was spent at Tartine). I loved all of the old homes and apartments, especially with the vines and flowers and greenery all around. 

xxo

A Day of (non)Productivity

Yesterday I did absolutely nothing productive (outside of watching a whole television series on Netflix, which takes determination and focus...right?). I didn't shower, didn't exercise, didn't work on my thesis. At some point during the day I literally asked myself, "what am I doing with my life?". I'm freaking out thinking about finding a job, making a living, and reconciling my heartbreak. 

At some point in the evening my grandmother called and asked me how my day was. I told her how I had done nothing, but tried to make up for it with the plans I have for today: working out, reviewing some thesis work, applying for more jobs. My grandmother reminded me that sometimes we need a day off. And at first I thought that was ridiculous and couldn't apply to me because I've been "off" for over a month now without a job. But I haven't really been off. I've been stressed and anxious. I've been job hunting and working the numbers and planning things out. I've been dealing with a lot of emotions and anxiety since leaving the kids...

So yeah, I took the day off yesterday. I was lazy and vegged out on fantasy television. And I'm not going make myself feel bad about it. I'm going to chalk it up to a mental health day, and use the rest of my week wisely to find the balance between hard work and self-care. 

xxo