This week I will finish my first year of my counselor education master’s program. One year down, and two more to go. But it feels quite anticlimactic, reaching a third of the way done while in quarantine and distance learning.

I struggled with the transition to virtual learning and Zoom classes. My social circles tend to be small, and grad school was one of the major sources of socialization I had. I spent a lot of time on campus, whether in class, exercising, or studying. Most days I really did look forward to going to class and learning. But I also really enjoyed the camaraderie and bonding with my classmates. We might lament over the amount of reading we had that week, or the group projects we had coming up, the struggle to balance work and school. But we also laughed and joked a lot. I miss those face-to-face interactions.

And although I am grateful for platforms like Zoom that still allow us to “see” each other, each time class ended and I closed my laptop, I felt more isolated than before. Every time I get an email from the university I’m worried that it will announce that the fall semester will also be facilitated online. On one hand, I almost wish I could take a semester or two off and wait to continue the program until we can be in-person again. But then I don’t want to push back my graduation and getting out into the field. And yet I worry that the quality of my education is much different doing it online rather than in-person. I know there are plenty of online master’s programs available out there. But I did not apply to an online program. Mostly because I know myself and my work ethic. I know that I do better in person, with accountability and structure. So although some of my professors have transitioned to virtual teaching as best they can, I worry about my own focus and investment.

Patience has never been my greatest strength. I guess this is just another opportunity for me to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. And to remember that things will work out for the greater good.