It's often said of perfectionists that they won't attempt something unless they know they cannot fail. Overall I don't consider myself a perfectionist (I'm far too lazy for that), but there are many things I hold back on attempting because I'm afraid of failing or looking like an idiot.

What I've heard from so many creatives, is that if you wait until you're ready, you'll never actually do it. You'll never feel ready. You'll never be 100% prepared or on top of it. So just go for it. Not willy nilly or half-hearted, but put yourself out there.

Modeling is something I've wanted to try for a long time now. My skin disorder diagnosis several years ago has been a huge hurdle to overcome. I am mostly healed now, but my eye will always go to the imperfections in my skin. I'm nervous to reach out to other photographers to work with them because I don't want them to see my discoloration and be disappointed. I'm nervous of thinking I could do it but looking like a fool who can get the shot.

I recently connected with Glenn Robinson, first through his Instagram, then through his Hike & Shoot Instagram and website. I went on my first Hike & Shoot adventure a couple weeks ago to Muir Woods and told Glenn, heart pounding with fear of rejection, that I'd like to get more involved in being in front of the camera, as well as more experience as a photographer working with models. He was so eager to help me pursue that goal, and by the next day we had a Saturday night on the calendar to meet up and work together.

The first set of photos was rough for me. We did more full body shots and I felt awkward. One of the things that held me back from trying more modeling is that I'm not a size zero. I feel like the poses typically thin models use are beautiful for their body types, but not mine. I feel like I can't cross my arms, or else they'll look larger than they are. I don't feel comfortable wearing booty shorts or crop tops, partly because of my weight and partly because of my residual red spots from the skin disorder. So I felt uncertain of how to pose and present myself to the camera. But Glenn was patient and kind and kept giving me direction.

We eventually got into more close-up portraits and that's when things really began to click. It was easier to just worry about my face (although even that was hard to relax my mouth and eyebrows enough to get the soft look. I'm almost always smiling or trying to smize or do the soap opera eyebrow raise). I didn't worry about my skin, because my face and neck and outer arms are largely unaffected by the skin disorder.

The more Glenn and I worked together the more relaxed I got, and the more you see that through the images captured. He's an incredible human, offering up his skill and experience and knowledge to help out others in our community. Seriously-reach out to him through Instagram or Hike & Shoot and he'll greet you with the same warmth as he did me.

xxo