I just stared reading The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. The first agreement is Be Impeccable with Your Words. Don Miguel talks about the power of words, and the impact they have on our beliefs about our selves. Gossip, he says, has become the main was we communicate with each other; it's what we've learned to do from childhood. Gossip includes sharing personal opinions with those around us. Don Miguel uses the example of starting a new class, and another classmate telling you your professor doesn't know the material and is an awful teacher. Don Miguel goes on to say that even before the professor opens her mouth, you are forming an agreement with your classmates words that the professor is awful and you're going to hate the class.

I've often thought about this idea, especially in the last couple months of starting a new job where I'm meeting new people and forging new relationships. I don't think people gossip menacingly for the most part. I think it's an agreement that you learned as a child and don't think too much about as an adult. But the words we use have great power. I usually avoid listening to others warnings about certain people. Unless it's my family or inner friend circle needing to vent or process things, I don't want to hear it because I want to form my own opinions.

Don Miguel then goes on to address negative self-talk. "Being impeccable with your word is the correct use of your energy; it means to use your energy in the direction of truth and love for yourself. If you make an agreement with yourself to be impeccable with your words, just with that intention, the truth will manifest through you and clean all the emotional poison that exists within you. But making this agreement is difficult because we have learned to do precisely the opposite. We have learned to lie as a habit of our communication with others and more importantly with ourselves."

Self-compassion is key to growth and contentment. I'm working on it.

xxo