Over the last three weeks (and for three more weeks moving forward) I've been leading a workshop on self-esteem with a group of about ten sixth grade girls. The main focus of the lessons so far has been on appearance ideals, expectations, how to avoid self-deprecating speech as well as redirecting conversation with friends when they start to tease others or belittle themselves...

It's been interesting because as I'm teaching these young women, doing my best to help them see that their worth is so much more than just their outward appearance, I've been catching myself looking in the mirror as I get ready for the day and lamenting over all of the things that are wrong/could be better.

We all have these scripts inside our heads that tell us we should be skinnier, stop eating so much sugar, get to your mat more often, deny yourself the pleasures of food/drink/rest-all so that we can look better. We're convinced that if we look better from the outside, we'll feel better on the inside. But deep down inside I think we all know we've got it totally backwards.

We have to spend time on our inner selves before we can alter the outer self. And that transformation starts with being nice to ourselves. I recently read a guide for a couple of self-love meditations, and one of the suggested mantras really stuck with me: May I live a life of ease.

I'm working really hard right now on being kind to myself, and taking in the very themes and ideas I am trying to instill in these girls-beauty is so much more than from an outer appearance. It's so much easier to have compassion for someone else. It's easier to see the potential, the good, and the courage in others. It's far more uncomfortable to compliment yourself, to be happy with yourself as you are, and to be ok with being a work in progress. If we can muster up even an ounce of self-compassion, imagine how much more we could then give in offering to those around us. And what a beautiful, lasting impact that will make, my friends.

xxo