Last weekend, in our glorious break from this drab, rainy weather, I went for a walk along the American River. In fact, I ended up spending about two hours out there. I was feeling emotional and needed to feel the sun on my skin and clear the racing thoughts in my head.

Over the last several months I've been reading The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle. It's been challenging me to let go of the pain of leaving and losing the kids I nannied. Although, I think I'll forever be trying to find the balance of allowing myself to grieve and be sad, with letting go of that emotion and bringing myself to the Now.

The state of California's drought over the last few years, and now this sudden state of flooding and stress on our dams has me thinking of the way life cycles through. Sometimes we are up, sometimes we are down. There are times of joy and peace, then those of heartache and misery. It's much harder to recognize the seemingly mundane moments. And what Tolle is pointing out is that whatever season you're in, you have the power to be in the Now, to be connected with Being and to let go of things like stress, anxiety, doubt, guilt, pain...I'll share this excerpt from The Power of Now:

"It is not true that the up cycle is good and the down cycle is bad, except in the mind's judgement. Growth is usually considered positive, but nothing can grow forever. If growth, of whatever kind, were to go on and on, it would eventually become monstrous and destructive. Dissolution is needed for new growth to happen. One cannot exist without the other.

The down cycle is absolutely essential for spiritual realization. You must have failed deeply on some level or experienced some deep loss or pain to be drawn to the spiritual dimension."

As I walked along the river and saw the flooding of trails and the changed water levels, I let myself feel sad. I listened to music that digs at my heart. I held my crystals and felt their energy. All of these actions kept me present and honest. Tears came, and then they stopped. My feet kept moving. And then they stoped in moments of wonder. My heart ached, and then it softened.

I am on a journey, unique and yet interconnected with so many others. I will do my best to show up as authentically and brave as I can.

xxo