Back Again

A few weekends ago I went to Berkeley for the afternoon and a concert at The Greek. It’s one of my favorite venues, and this time I got to see Lake Street Dive for the first time. I took the train down there and caught a ride home with friends who also went to the show.

Made my usual stops at Stonemountain & Daughter, Pegasus Books, and then a new stop at Roses’ per recommendation from new friends. The space is so lovely. It’s a wine, beer, and small bites spot with great vibes and customer service.

LA for the Day

I flew down to LA recently to get tattooed by Alyssa DiGirolamo. I got three pieces done and love them so much. Couldn’t recommend Alyssa enough. She was so kind, cool, and does incredible work.

I'm so Proud

This was surprisingly my first Pride event. Sacramento made me proud, seeing so many queer folks and allies showing up to support one another and spread love.

CDW & Berkeley

Apparently this is the season of concerts for me, as I was able to see Charlotte Day Wilson for the first time in May in San Francisco. Her show was everything I wanted it to be - vibey, moody, and so sexy. Her music was a huge support in discovering my own queer identity. Coming into my queerness showed me just how important it is to see our identities reflected in life - music, movies, television, stories, etc. These days I find it hard to watch purely cis-het media. Listening to CDW sing about love and relationships with women connected to something deep within me.

To celebrate the last day of school at the end of May I went to Berkeley to visit my favorite fabric shop and book store. I asked one of the employees at the fabric store about local queer/lesbian bars, and they suggested Friends and Family. I found my way there and loved everything about it. From there I went to the Greek to see Tedeschi Trucks Band.

I can make it holy

I recently saw The Staves live in concert for the first time. It’s been a long time coming. I got the title of their 2021 album Good Woman tattooed on my arm while in London in 2021 (for a myriad of reasons, not just the album title), and had tickets to see them in the last year or two, but they canceled the US leg of the tour.

Finally seeing them live, my heart truly swelled. I can’t remember exactly where or how I first heard them, but I know it was some time in late 2018. My grandmother fell in her apartment in December of 2018. I remember listening to their album, The Way is Read, front to back over and over again while she was in the hospital and after she died. The energy of the album captured the energy and friction I was feeling within.

Before I ever really started dating, before I ever fell in love with my first long-term partner, I listened to a specially curated playlist of The Staves and cried, yearning for love and romance in my life. Their song, Make It Holy, is an all time favorite of mine. Wonderfully enough, they played it at the show I was at. I cried during that song, as well as a track from their most recent album called, So Gracefully.

In the past eight or so months I’ve experienced lows I’ve never experienced before. I’ve felt feelings at such a depth I’d never felt them before. Apparently heartbreak will do that to you. As I navigated going to San Francisco for this show, spending the night there, and exploring, I felt equal parts pain in not experiencing it with my partner, to equal parts gratitude for being solo. I went to a gay bar and had a couple beers and sat and read Jedidiah Jenkins’ book Mother, Nature. I navigated public transit on my own. I walked to dinner where I enjoyed a lovely meal and read some more. I went to a concert on my own (which I’ve done a dozen times before at least…but now having experienced concerts with a partner, going solo again was a new experience of it). I took my time the next day, working out in the hotel gym, and then heading out to explore and eat more great food before heading home. I journaled and shot through an entire roll of film (featured in this post).

I’m finding ways of coming back to myself. I will forever put first my relationship to self. And I’m so grateful for that connection.