I've Got Your Back, featuring Jamee

I’ve Got Your Back is a series that explores feminism, sisterhood, growth, and bravery. This week I’m introducing you to Jamee. She and I met first on Instagram, you can find her here, and then in person at a local meet up. Jamee is warm and friendly, and she graciously reached out to me to be part of I’ve Got Your Back, and I’m so thankful. Read on to learn more about this woman and the things that she's passionate about.

What’s the most recent book or article you’ve read that has influenced, encouraged, or challenged you?

I’m just starting Rich Dad, Poor Dad. It talks about finances and money and how you grow your wealth. My husband recommended it and he convinced me to read it when he shared with me the idea that the only wealth you really have is in your ideas. It’s the only thing you have control over, and it’s up to you to put them into action.

Do you feel like you get to explore that in your 9-5 job, or is that something you dive into with the side consulting?

My 9-5 is very structured around retirees and pensions and union issues. There’s not a lot of room to go outside the box. So yeah, in my side hustle I do like to kind of push the boundaries and challenge myself.

Who is an influencer in your life?

I know it sounds cliché, but my husband is my influencer. He’s a badass. He works really hard and has his own company. He golfs a lot, which I’m not passionate about. But he has a lot of ideas and passions and he always follows through. He’s a rugby coach and gives back to the community.

He’ll say, “Do you want me to be your husband, or your business advisor?” So I can always come to him with ideas and he’ll give me feedback. He influences the way I dress and think…he just pushes me to be a better version of myself all the time.

What traits of his do you hope that your daughter, Poppy, takes on?

She definitely has a lot of both of us. But I think he always teaches her to do what she wants. Any idea she has, anything she wants to do, he tells her to go for it. There’s no gender bias in our house.

What does feminism mean to you?

I have a love-hate relationship with that word. I consider myself a feminist; I just don’t like the fact that we’re still talking about it in the old ways. There’s such a divide because of it, even between women.

What is your understanding of feminism?

It’s about equality.

Do you have a favorite quote or mantra that you live your life by?

I tell my daughter, “be you, just be yourself.” A couple weeks ago she was writing a letter to her grandpa and as she’s dictating what she wants me to write him she says, “just be your life,” and ever since she spoke those words we thought, that’s our new family mantra! Just be your life.

What are you most passionate about?

My family. I have a very large family. But I’m passionate about balance. I have a lot in my life that pulls me in different directions. But I make it a point to keep the balance. My passion is the happiness of my husband, my child, and myself.

What are some things you’ve put into place to help you keep that balance? Not that every day has to be totally balanced, we go through seasons, but in general, what practices have you put in place to help?

Saying “no” is important. There are endless opportunities to go places, commit to things, but you have to learn how to say no. There are a lot of things we do as a family-syncing our Google calendars, talking about the week ahead on Sundays, making sure that all of our bases are covered. We try to eat dinner as a family at the table every night. We both recognize, my husband and I, that we need our space. You do you, and then when we come back together we’re a happier unit. I think your child sees how you act, so it’s important to know your partner’s needs.

Fill in the blank: I am ______________

I would say I am me. I’m unapologetically me. 

Jamee's got your back.

Holding Back

It's often said of perfectionists that they won't attempt something unless they know they cannot fail. Overall I don't consider myself a perfectionist (I'm far too lazy for that), but there are many things I hold back on attempting because I'm afraid of failing or looking like an idiot. 

What I've heard from so many creatives, is that if you wait until you're ready, you'll never actually do it. You'll never feel ready. You'll never be 100% prepared or on top of it. So just go for it. Not willy nilly or half-hearted, but put yourself out there.

Modeling is something I've wanted to try for a long time now. My skin disorder diagnosis several years ago has been a huge hurdle to overcome. I am mostly healed now, but my eye will always go to the imperfections in my skin. I'm nervous to reach out to other photographers to work with them because I don't want them to see my discoloration and be disappointed. I'm nervous of thinking I could do it but looking like a fool who can get the shot. 

I recently connected with Glenn Robinson, first through his Instagram, then through his Hike & Shoot Instagram and website. I went on my first Hike & Shoot adventure a couple weeks ago to Muir Woods and told Glenn, heart pounding with fear of rejection, that I'd like to get more involved in being in front of the camera, as well as more experience as a photographer working with models. He was so eager to help me pursue that goal, and by the next day we had a Saturday night on the calendar to meet up and work together. 

The first set of photos was rough for me. We did more full body shots and I felt awkward. One of the things that held me back from trying more modeling is that I'm not a size zero. I feel like the poses typically thin models use are beautiful for their body types, but not mine. I feel like I can't cross my arms, or else they'll look larger than they are. I don't feel comfortable wearing booty shorts or crop tops, partly because of my weight and partly because of my residual red spots from the skin disorder. So I felt uncertain of how to pose and present myself to the camera. But Glenn was patient and kind and kept giving me direction.

We eventually got into more close-up portraits and that's when things really began to click. It was easier to just worry about my face (although even that was hard to relax my mouth and eyebrows enough to get the soft look. I'm almost always smiling or trying to smize or do the soap opera eyebrow raise). I didn't worry about my skin, because my face and neck and outer arms are largely unaffected by the skin disorder. 

The more Glenn and I worked together the more relaxed I got, and the more you see that through the images captured. He's an incredible human, offering up his skill and experience and knowledge to help out others in our community. Seriously-reach out to him through Instagram or Hike & Shoot and he'll greet you with the same warmth as he did me. 

xxo

I've Got Your Back, featuring Sadye Evyn Reish

I met Sadye several months ago at a Creative Mornings event. She captured me with her smile and her ease while talking to other attendees. We later connected over Instagram, and then most recently at Team Ride where she teaches spin. Through our time together I was reminded of the energy and compassion that initially drew me to Sadye. In addition to this blog post, you can listen to the interview in its entirety here. 

What’s the most recent book or article you’ve read that has influenced, encouraged, or challenged you?

I read Lean In at the end of last year, and I would say that coupled with When Breath Becomes Air have greatly influenced me. Ironically I had read both of those just before finding out I had cancer. When Breath Becomes Air focuses on the idea of, if you knew you only had so long to live, how would you live your life? What choices would you make? Lean In resonated because while I was reading that I was up for a promotion with my last employer. On paper it looked like a great opportunity. But in my gut I just knew it wasn’t right. As soon as I started leaning in to the things that felt right, to the opportunities that spoke to me loudest, things started to fall into place.

Who is an influencer in your life?

I don’t think I have one in particular, truthfully…I think just positive people influence me. I had about four months off between full time jobs and in that time I threw myself into a lot of opportunities and events and social gatherings. I had a chance to really engage in the Sacramento community. I saw how many amazing people we have here-creatively, intellectually, just cool people. I’m so influenced by that. I learned a long time ago that people, in general, are going to have judgments or opinions, and I finally learned to let those voices go and pay attention to the positive people. I’m influenced by people who are doing good things, lifting up the people around them, and aren’t threatened by other people doing similar things. We can be in this space together.

What does feminism mean to you?

It’s still such a taboo concept. I participated in the Women’s March here in Sacramento and it made me feel like I was part of something bigger than my immediate world or myself. Feminism is about lifting people up and empowering them, rather than passing judgment or being better than men. It’s about being confident in who we are as a gender. We can do amazing things. We should all be equal.

Do you have a favorite quote or mantra that you live your life by?

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined,” by Henry David Thoreau. I was given a thank you card years ago when I worked for a publishing company. I had the opportunity to write a piece with a friend who lost someone dear to her from breast cancer. She started Uptown Liz, which is a philanthropic site that has breast cancer awareness memorabilia for sale, and the profits would go to cancer research funds. I wrote about what the site was all about, and in return she wrote me this card with the Thoreau quote on it.

The quote has always resonated with me, but I think I really started living by it in the last couple years. I’m not religious, but I do believe in the idea of blind faith. Shit’s going to go wrong before it goes right. But if you’re following your gut and you’re following your heart, and you’re going confidently in that direction-it’s going to fall into place.

What are you most passionate about?

Connecting with people. I love inspiring and motivating people. I want to be real and authentic and genuine in creativity and my passions. I also love learning new things. When I started my new job, I had the opportunity to learn so much new stuff. It feels intuitive. But it’s also opening up so many more doors to learning. I’m going home exhausted in a good way.

How will you pursue making authentic relationships and connections?

I’m so excited to be part of Creative Mornings. I want to continue to lean into things that make me feel good. So one of my goals this year is to lean into more events that engage with people in the community. You never know where the conversations and connections lead. So I’ll continue to be involved in Creative Mornings, The Blog Bloc, and staying active in the community.

Fill in the blank: I am ______________

I am genuine. I am sarcastic. I am real and authentic. And I’m a badass.

Sadye has your back.  

Community and Connection

Zuda Yoga is the first studio I ever practiced yoga in. I was welcomed and held in that space. My journey with yoga and Zuda is going on eight years now, and I'm so thankful for that connection. I started out as a student, began working the front desk, became an assistant, finally went through Teacher Training in 2013, taught primarily at the Folsom location for two years, and continue to find love in that space. 

Several weeks ago I photographed Ronda Kamka, one of the owners of Zuda Yoga Folsom, with her sound bowls. She then reached out to me to photograph her teaching team to update the website photos and I had such a great time capturing their personalities and beauty. 

xxo

Light & Dark

"When there is no way out, there is still always a way through. So don't turn away from the pain. Face it. Feel it fully. Feel it-don't think about it. Express it, if necessary, but don't create a script in your mind around it. Give all your attention to the feeling, not the person, event, or situation that seems to have caused it.

Don't let the mind create a victim identity for yourself out of it. Feeling sorry for yourself and telling others your story will keep you stuck in suffering. Since it is impossible to get away from the feeling, the only possibility of change is to move into it; otherwise, nothing will shift.

So give your complete attention to what you feel, and refrain from mentally labeling it. As you go into the feeling, be intensely alert. At first, it may seem like a dark and terrifying place, and when the urge to turn away from it comes, observe it, but don't act on it. Keep putting your attention on the pain, keep feeling the grief, the fear, the dread, the loneliness, whatever it is. 

Stay alert. Stay present-present with your whole Being, with every cell of your body. As you do so, you are bringing a light into this darkness. This is the flame of your consciousness."

Eckhart Tolle

xo