I've Got Your Back
This first feature of I've Got Your Back is of Kylie Holloway. I met Kylie through Arden Hot Yoga. She is a young woman, mature beyond her years, who's just moved to New York City to pursue goals of performance. She's got the tenacity, education, and true personality to thrive, and I can't wait to see where her path takes her. Read on to learn more about what's going on with Kylie, and why she's got your back...
What’s the most recent book you’ve read that had influenced/encouraged/changed you?
I just finished Hunger Makes Me a Modern Girl by Carrie Brownstein. I picked it up looking for insights on sketch comedy, but the book was predominantly about her time in Slater Kinney, an all-female punk band. I ended up getting a lot out of her general reflections on being a woman in an artistic field largely populated by men. As a woman in comedy, my life is a lot easier now than it would have been if people like Gilda Radner, Mary Tyler Moore, Tina Fey, and Amy Poehler hadn’t come along and been so unapologetic about who they were and the work they loved to make. Brownstein reflects on her gratitude for the pioneers who came before her, and I loved her observations about how she takes on their mistakes, their passion and moves forward. I learned a lot from her own analysis of the role she played in making progress for women in the punk scene. She didn’t deny the difficulties or insecurities that accompany the work and discusses her tactics for nurturing her art through the chaos. I read it at a time when I was feeling creatively unfulfilled. I often get myself into this pattern of thinking that my career is a sprint, that I need to identify the next step and get to it as quickly as possible or I’ll lose whatever momentum I have going. Brownstein’s book was a lovely reminder that this life is a goddam marathon. She and Corinne played together for seven years before they even found a drummer, their first album had very little traction, and even when they “made it” and had the White Stripes opening for them, the women were still hauling their own amps and worrying what their next steps might be. It’s a great book for any artist who happens to be a woman, and anyone who needs to be reminded to take time to enjoy where they are instead of fretting about where they are going.
Who is an influencer in your life?
My mom is one of my biggest influences. My mother is the chief legal counsel for the CA Department of Education. She addresses her extremely demanding job with tenacity, attention to detail, and a genuine compassion for every child in the CA school system. To me she models the balance of sweetness and strength, toughness and tenderness; what every woman in a high powered position is asked to balance. She has raised two young women who aspire to be leaders in their respective fields and taught us to lead by example. She has taught my little sister and me not to cry about things we can fix, to be thoughtful of how our actions affect others, and to have the strength to not apologize for being ourselves. As a director, head writer, and actor I have exercised lessons learned from my mother with an instinctiveness that comes from a lifetime of positive influence.
As I’m writing this, I am moving to New York City, on a layover in Dallas. It’s the biggest leap of faith I have ever taken, I have no job lined up, a place to live for four weeks, and one family member in the city. It would be a nightmare for some parents. But this morning, at 5am my parents dropped me off at the airport, on the car ride there, my mom grabbed my hand and said “We have such complete faith in you.”
On paper it may seem like a stretch for my mother, the practical lawyer, to have thrown herself entirely behind my decision to go into the arts- and to move to NYC to pursue this dream. However my mother has supported me with grace and joy. When I teared up saying goodbye to my parents this morning, she said “no sniffling, this is your next great adventure.” I couldn’t have asked for more positive words to take off on.
What does feminism mean to you?
Someone who likes women, thinks all genders should be equal, and does stuff about it.
That is such a simplified answer but I think we live in a moment where that simplicity is not a negative thing. There are so many questions surrounding feminism right now, labels being thrown at it. What does it include, who does it exclude? Can the movement be intersectional in the age of Trump when it urgently needs to be? How much does the term adhere to cisgender binaries? The Women’s March was such a beautiful thing because there was overwhelming support for women of all races, creeds, sexualities. We all fit under the same feminist umbrella and life was good for that morning. I think the term feminist applies to anyone who takes action (votes, marches, volunteers, calls their representative) to ensure that the genders achieve equal treatment.
Do you have a favorite quote or a mantra that you try to live your life by?
Sthira and Sukha
Steadiness and ease
These are terms used in yoga to describe an ideal posture (asana). I love this phrasing as it applies to yoga because it is not about form or looks. Your asana is not about how straight your right arm is or if your foot is in point behind your head, but how you achieve it. It is about approaching your practice with joy and determination. It applies to so much in life. There’s a balance I see in my mom: strength and compassion, tenacity and tenderness. There is so much undue pressure on women in any leadership position to occupy those two realms. There is pressure to be strong, but not masculine, and kind, but not soft. As a leader I think approaching a task with faith in your own knowledge balanced with the grace to accept input from others is a valuable skill. As an artist I frequently repeat this mantra in my work. I want to slide into a role with the technical skills and confidence required to take command while maintaining a fluidity and generosity needed to make the part pleasing to watch.
What are you most passionate about?
Comedy- writing it, filming it, watching it. It is such a simple way to bring joy to those around me and I think that it is incredibly vital that we maintain our sense of humor during the tumultuous times ahead. Humor gives us a sense of perspective, it allows us to step back and examine the world around us. The former artistic director of Second City Sheldon Patinkin said “if you can laugh at it, you can fix it.” It’s hard to invest in that mantra at the moment, so much in this world seems beyond the scope of that phrase. However I think striving to find bits of joy and humor is a valuable approach to the things that overwhelm us.
How are you/how will you be an agent for love, compassion, acceptance, feminism, etc…?
First off, I think the easiest way to combat the negativity in the news is to simply be a little kinder to one another. To try to remind those around us that what is happening in Washington doesn’t need to dominate our daily interactions. I’ve been putting more effort into little daily acts of kindness.
As an artist I think there is a lot that I can do to be an agent for acceptance and compassion. My industry can be so needlessly competitive, especially among women. When I encounter that I try to meet it with generosity and openness. I think it’s our job as women to encourage one another, we are all on the same team, all going towards the same finish line. By collaborating with other women, mentoring younger artists, and inviting men to be allies to our creativity we can make significant progress towards equality in this industry, and we can make some beautiful art.
Fill in the blank: I am ______
I am brave, goofy, passionate, and hungry.
