To Wash, or Not to Wash

#fbf to mermaid bath days For years I've been reading and hearing about the benefits of not washing your hair every day. But for someone with fine hair that gets oily fairly quickly, that sounded just awful. I tried different dry shampoos, baby powder, but I always felt insecure about my hair looking dirty.  All of that changed this past winter break. I started washing every other day since I didn't have to worry about looking presentable for school. It's pretty easy to toss my hair up into a top knot working with kids and teaching yoga. I also discovered Oribe Dry Texturizing Spray, which is a total game changer! It's pricey, but well worth it. As mentioned above, I've got fine hair (and supposedly a lot of it, says my hair dresser, although it doesn't feel like it), and it is stick straight. I do a little bit of backcombing at the roots, then spray the magical texturizing spray on my hair and it actually holds a little volume. And it smells AMAZING.  At this point I'm washing my hair three or four times a week. Usually on school days. The mornings that I don't wash my hair are savored a bit more with coffee in hand on my couch.  I feel like I've learned some tricks to getting volume and using braids to cover second (or third!) day hair (particularly this kind of braid that I saw on twitter months ago as a gif).  How often do you wash your hair? What kind of styling products or hair styles do you use to get by with "dirty" hair and still feel put together? xxo

Good Morning, Sunshine

One of my resolutions for this new year is to practice yoga at least twice a week. On its own, that doesn't seem like a big deal. Where things get tricky though is juggling my school schedule and work schedules AND getting in my own practices. About two months ago I started working the 6am class at Zuda Midtown into my routine. I know...6am. That's crazy! Especially with it being so cold lately. And ESPECIALLY since that means my day goes from about 5:30am until I get home from work and school around 8pm. I'm pretty sure 80 percent of why I go is so that I can take Corri Chadwick's class. And the other 20 percent is because I know it's good for me and blah blah blah.

Another ritual I've started recently is to spend about ten minutes in the morning on my couch with my cup of coffee. I have a window in my living room that overlooks a grassy courtyard area that's lined with giant old trees. I have come to love and cherish this quiet time. I leave my phone in my bedroom so that I can't distract myself with social media or the internet. I leave my notepad in my bag so that I can't write out lists of things I need to get done. And this isn't to say I'm not making lists in my head (because when does that ever really stop?), but I'm working at getting more present and enjoying the quiet alone time. 

This morning I watched at least fifty little birds move about the trees and swoop down to the grass in search of their breakfast. I've always been in love with birds; and I've always wanted to be a bird (I know...insert The Notebook line here).  I love the idea of flying and gliding. About four or five years ago the hawk started showing up in my life. I feel most connected to hawks. They are so graceful, fly so effortlessly, but are sharp and direct at the same time. Qualities of the hawk are what I aspire to have myself. I snapped the picture above this past summer when my mother and I were coming home from a wine tasting trip with my aunts and cousins. It was the perfect end to a lovely weekend.

And each time I see a hawk I am reminded of what I aspire to be: graceful, light, strong, and purposeful.

xxo

A Day of New Beginnings

Yesterday I turned twenty seven years old. And I had about twenty seven different feelings about it, and the day. The night before I met up with three beautiful women I became friends with through Zuda Yoga. We reveled at everything on the menu at The Rind and had great conversation. These women have been there for me in so many ways, and to come together to celebrate me felt warm and comforting. 

I started my birthday with 6am yoga. After class I had time to go to The Mill for a coffee and reading time. The Mill is my new favorite coffee shop. When I got there just after seven am I was the only customer and there was this quiet and calm moment before the busyness of the day began.

I went to work at ten am, which was a nice change of pace from usually getting there at eight am. The kids greeted me right away with birthday wishes. They had baked me a cake, sang to me, and gave me a very thoughtful gift. It was a surprisingly sunny day given the rain we've been getting lately, so we were lucky enough to go to the park for a couple hours to play. My welcomed birthday gift from Mother Nature.  

My sweet mother had offered to meet up with me for breakfast or dinner. I was so thankful for the offer, but more so for her patience in letting me have my alone time. I know my birthday is important to her; and I know I love to see my family and friends in person when it is their birthdays too. But my soul was telling me I needed alone time, to read, self-reflect, journal; really just to turn inward, I think. After work I went to Piatti's for dinner. I read more of Darling Magazine, enjoyed a nice glass of wine, salad, and pizza. 

After my meal I went over to my mom's for dessert and to see her and my little brother. As it turned out, my older brother and dad stopped by to see me too. I felt somewhat torn because I knew it was important to everyone that they see me. They were excited and wanted to celebrate me. Which, again, was so loving and sweet. But at the same time I think I felt a bit uncomfortable with it. I rarely draw attention to myself in general. This is why I'm not on Facebook, why I don't promote my yoga classes or workshops, I only just recently got an Instagram account and still don't feel 100% confident in that decision...So I felt conflicted for much of the day.

I am really excited to be a year older. I feel an equal anxiety about it too, though. Not because of age and feeling "old" or scared of aging...It's an anxiety around the thought of what the hell am I doing with my life? I'm anxious because I feel like I don't have any relevant work experience to show on my resume. I'm anxious because I know in the next year or two I will finish my grad program and leave the children I nanny. I'm anxious because I want so much for my life, but am still unclear as to what that really is-and especially on how to get it...

One of the articles in this issue of Darling I'm currently reading (#13) is an interview with Tracee Ellis Ross. In response to Sarah Dubbeldam's question, "What was the last thing that surprised you about yourself?" Tracee responds with realizing that her mind learns faster than her heart and body. "...They say that fear is excitement without breath. To me, breath is space. If I can make space for holding the good and the bad at the same time, then it's all good."

The same issue has an interview with Brene Brown. I've watched her Ted Talk on The Power of Vulnerability. And I have been meaning to read her books. Here's one thing I loved from her interview (aside from basically the whole thing), "...[the] scars and stretch marks on our hearts mean that we're using them, that we're feeling them, that they're growing. It's so hard to see that in the middle of a darkness, but that's why I think that for those of us that are out there in life-trying, caring, loving-we are the brave and brokenhearted, we're both. You can't be brave without being brokenhearted and everyone who is brokenhearted has always been brave."

It's amazing the timing of things in this life; how purposeful things are. I got this issue at least four months ago, when I was in the chaos of my semester, and have only just gotten around to reading it. So much beauty and comfort and assurance in the pages of this magazine.

xxo

Courage Over Fear

Photo Credit

Today I started a sort of internship/student teaching gig at the Sacramento Waldorf School. A beautiful yogi soul connected me to their health teacher several months ago. Megan Sullivan has been teaching health and sexuality education there for eight years. She's just a complete gem (and also has a fabulous Australian accent). I was all sorts of nervous and excited. The last time I had worked with high schoolers was at least five years ago when I co-coached a high school dance team, but that was a totally different context and responsibility. 

I loved every moment of today. Megan started out the class period with a meditation practice, which of course made my yogi heart sing with gratitude. It allowed me to slow down, focus my breath, and really appreciate where I was and how I got there. I introduced myself to the students, then was able to hang out at the back of the room and mostly just observe. I chimed in a couple times to share something when Megan invited me to, but otherwise I just took notes on what she taught, how she broke up the lecture with activity, and even the way she brought students back to focus on the topic at hand. 

I'll be helping out for the rest of the school year. And from our previous conversations it seems like Megan is entirely open to me teaching a lesson and really diving in. I am so grateful for her openness and willingness to have me in her classroom. I am also thrilled to have some more relevant work experience to put on my resume as I enter my last year and a half of grad school and begin looking for a new career...

xxo

P.S. These awesome tees are part of an upcoming line through Defy The Odds, found here. 

P.P.S. I USED TO BABYSIT THESE BABES. Camille and Natasia. Their inner beauty and goodness is even greater than their external beauty, which is pretty fabulous. 

New Year; NO New Clothes

Photo Credit

Several months ago I posted about committing to going three months without shopping. But like life so often does, it stepped in and fucked up that plan with the arrival of my skin disorder. I ended up buying long sleeve tops that were somewhat light enough to wear in 100 degree heat and boyfriend jeans to wear (and pray for some air circulation).

This original idea was inspired by my friend Katie. We had been to brunch one Sunday and she told she was thinking about going a year without purchasing clothes. A WHOLE YEAR. My initial reaction was HA. Yeah right; I could never do that. But then I got to thinking about how I really don't need any new clothes. I typically rotate the same outfits anyway. And buying clothes online through J Crew or Madewell certainly is not a healthy coping mechanism (for my bank account or my desire to look polished and put together 24/7).

So here we go: I'm jumping into 2016 with the intention to not buy clothes...sans a couple exceptions

1. The PERFECT leather jacket has been on my do-before-you're-31 bucket list. There was already the stipulation that I have to buy it with cash, not credit. So if this year brings that magical leather jacket into my life, I will buy it
2. Also in search of the perfect bra (let me assure you that the struggle is real)
3. Summer sandals. I loved the pair I got last year from Madewell. But then they got recalled because apparently the sandals were coming apart and a tripping hazard (may those wonderful black sandals RIP). I'll definitely need a pair to slip on to go to yoga (and just about everywhere else)
4. Jewelry: This is a tricky one. Because I probably have a dozen statement necklaces from J Crew and could be happy with a dozen more. But this stipulation is in regard to any traveling I do. I have a couple dainty rings from Cat Bird in Brooklyn, another from a shop in Portland. Little bits of jewelry is a way for me to remember my trips on a regular basis

And that's it. I feel more relaxed about my skin disorder, so the need for new clothes to cover up has pretty much dissipated. Katie is doing this challenge with me and has her own exceptions. So we've shared them and will work to keep each other accountable. Honestly though, I already feel a weight lifting by telling myself I cannot buy new clothes this year. It is so easy to go online and buy clothes on a credit card on impulse and then feel guilty about racking up the credit. 

So here's to 2016: 

May I learn to be creative with the items I already have, and content in my own body and style.

xxo